7 years, 4 months ago- Posts
I know that my soon to be Ex-Husband would do everything in his power to keep me fat.. He would offer to cook what ever recipe from what ever program I was doing so that he could tell every one how much he supports me, but he would “supplement” the recipes so I would gain instead of lose. He would say that he was trying to add more variety so I would not get bored. I think people show a lack of support because they are insecure. If you at fit and healthy then they think you will leave them but they need to learn that fat people get fed up and leave as well. When you get to your goal and I am sure you will, it will mean that much more. I will send you virtual support every day, I will celebrate your victories and I will be there when you struggle. Always remember you are not alone…WE GOT THIS!!!!
Ugh. Jennifer your almost ex sounds like a total jerk. I am SO glad that you have found the strength to move on and see your reality instead of his. Toxic relationships can be tough to beat. You sound strong and tough!! Way to go!
Thank Vanessa. My journey has been long and winding but I am strong and I now look at what is in front of me instead of what is behind. This year and This program is all about me and all of the encouragement that I get for this wonderful band of strangers yet friends help keep me grounded and motivated. So yes I really do GOT THIS!!!
Update: I have mentioned about my husband’s eating habits but they may yet change: he has been diagnosed with cancer :(. So that has been the focus of our lives these past weeks. And cancers like sugar and my husband has a big time sweet tooth. He has not bought and eaten a pie lately but did make himself a cake. We meet with a nutritionist next week and he knows her so perhaps she can get him to eat better at this imperative time.
There are two of us wearing braces, so nuts and jerky are not options. Dried fruit (hard to find with no added sugar) disappears like candy around here. So does the Melba toast and hard-boiled eggs. We always have apples, but they are not raided because they must be peeled and sliced first. Oranges, strawberries, and blueberries
go fast, too. Recently the kids have discovered guacamole and salsa, which they eat with organic corn chips. At least they no longer have a taste for yogurt now that it is plain. Unfortunately, my husband still goes to the store at least once a week (without telling me) to buy sweets. I always ask HIM if he wants anything from the store. I’ve even asked him to let me know (my shopping list-in-progress is posted on the fridge.) He says that he doesn’t have a plan and just goes. Last night he came home with cinnamon bread, donuts, white bread, and pie. 🙁Linda, I pray that your husband will be able to change in order to improve his health. I wish mine had after his quadruple bypass, if even just to set a good example for his children. It sounds like he’s at least trying to cut back, and he’s got a wonderful, knowledgeable women beside him to help him make better choices.
Poor Paula. That is rough. We have so many challenges to making healthy lifestyle changes. I wonder why your husband is sabotaging you – consciously or not? Would you be able to take him to a therapist? I’m a big believer in mediated talking. It takes the judgment out with someone else there.
My husband also eats whatever he wants in front of me and it’s hard. He isn’t doing it to be mean, but it certainly doesn’t help! I’m thinking about dragging him in for a family therapy session.Linda. I’m sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis. Cancer is never good. I hope he sees the changes you are making as an opportunity to extend his life. If not, don’t quit. Use it to keep you strong and healthy by following your goals. He’s going to need you more then he knows and you will need to be strong for both of you. Best wishes and know you deserve the successful outcomes of your hard work.
Trina C
My very skinny husband does this to me. He never thinks about my feels and that I can’t eat the same things he does. He is always buying ice cream, candy bars etc then offering it me… I feel like he is testing me all the time and quite frankly it’s posing me off!!
My very skinny husband does this to me. He never thinks about my feels and that I can’t eat the same things he does. He is always buying ice cream, candy bars etc then offering it me… I feel like he is testing me all the time and quite frankly it’s pissing me off!!
@Karma Coins: 0What a good article Vanessa – Thanks for sharing. I printed it off and left it “accidentally” where my husband would find it. The stress of cooking for two (when he doesn’t want the healthy choices) has not improved but my perspective on the whole situation has. It is nice to know I am not in this alone even though the person I am closest to does not share my thinking. I love him to pieces and he loves the changes he has seen in me – baby steps…maybe he’ll come around soon.
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